Monday, April 27, 2015

Sabbatical Day 29- Fuzzy slippers, Laughter, and the destruction of pride


It is always amazing to me the limits God will go to bring about humility in our lives. Today was no exception. Holly and I had taken our Ford Flex in for an oil change and general checkup earlier in the day so we had to take my Clunker VW to Leesburg, with the 3 kids in the back seat to pick it up this evening. Now, I don't know if you have ever seen a family of 5 in a VW Golf, but it is quite humorous. It took me back to the days of my childhood. Our car was a 83 Chevette. (not to be confused with the corvette).....
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The fights me and my sisters would have in the back seat resembled ultimate fighting matches as seen on television. During these fights the long arm of my father or mother, which ever one wasn't driving, would reach behind and grab for whatever they could find. My mothers hand usually found my hair, or earlobe. It was quite effective. And painful. My dad would usually just shake his head in disbelief.
Well, tonight resembled this scene with remarkable accuracy. Here we are in my VW headed down 7 when smoke began to pour from the hood. Oh wait, I forgot to mention that it was at 5:15 PM! Yes Yes Yes, it was DC traffic which is something that I am still getting used to. I was in the middle lane, trying to get over into the right lane so I could get up on the grass in front of Belmont Ridge. You know, in front of the ponds. With the fountains. Its the place where everyone likes to stare at as they drive by because of its intrinsic beauty. Well not today. Today the view was a Father, Mother, 3 screaming kids and a smoking car. What was I wearing? Sweat pants and fuzzy slippers. I am certain everyone driving by thought we were the Grizwold family driving down from southeastern WV to see the big tall white thing at the DC mall and then were disappointed that this mall didn't have a food court to satisfy our need for Sbarrow. (My family is partly from WV so I am allowed to poke fun). I sent Holly and the kids around the two lakes and to the gas station to wait on Ben to come pick them up and take them to our other car at the shop. I did what every man does who doesn't know anything about cars but in the heat of the moment decides he does! I decided pip the hood and stare at the engine block thinking that maybe if I stared hard enough the problem would fix itself. EPIPHANY! I am a quart low in oil. That must be the problem. So I walked to the gas station where Holly and the kids were waiting and purchased some oil and began my "Walk of Shame" There I was.... with a quart of oil in one hand, walking in the POURING rain in sweat pants and fuzzy slippers right beside the BMW's and Mercedes of Loudoun County that were bumper to bumper in our world famous DC traffic. My sweatpants were so heavy that they began to sag. So I decided to tie the string tighter so they wouldn't fall down. Oooops. No string. So now, in the pouring rain, I have two quarts of oil in one hand and the other is hiking up my sweat pants to embarrassing heights.......and then it hit me.
I began to laugh. I began to laugh, laugh, laugh. So hard that I had to stop walking for a second and regain my composure. I noticed people staring in stunned disbelief but I couldn't stop. I am certain they thought I was either high or intoxicated just plain crazy but it made no difference. It was like one of the situations where laughter is so inappropriate but something leaps into your head from the atmosphere, tickles your funny bone, and causes you to not be able to stop laughing. To make it worse I began to wave at people. Very few waved back. I wouldn't have waved back either. "Kids, look away, look away!!!"
It took me a while before I realized why I was laughing........ It was because I needed this today. I needed a reminder of how small I am and how big God is. WE....need a reminder of how small we are and how big God is. It has always bothered me to think back on the way I react when I am faced with adversity. When the fact of the matter is...I usually don't face adversity. I experience life. And life is full of ups and downs, and there isn't a thing we can do about it. The back story is this. I had an amazing day up to that point, had received some praise for some of my accomplishments, made some wise decisions, and achieved some victories. I was was really proud of myself. My chest was puffed out and I walked out of work thinking "wow, I am really special". Jason Grate you are a home run hitter. Who can I call to make a plaster bust in my honor? Walking through the rain, carrying oil, in sweat pants and saturated fuzzy slippers is just what my pride needed. It's probably what all of our pride needs.
Well I made it home. The VW is in rough shape. It looks like a blown engine. So we are down to one car. And I'm a better man because of it.......
Praise God for the Adversity in your life. Without it we become a faithless, self absorbed shadow of what Christ intends for us to be.
Paul writes in Romans 5:1-5
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
So this week, may your suffering produce perseverance, and may your perseverance produce character, and may your character produce the hope that can only come from the blessed Holy Spirit.

(This is a post from 2011 that I found. Great memory:)

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Well, its official.  I am now a blogger.  Who knew right?  You will notice that there are blogs on here that go way back into our families journey.  Holly and I decided that it would be good to keep them on here.  It gives you context for our story, as well as better idea of who we are, why we are what we are why we are who we are.  Like that sentence?  We love you all, and hope that this sight will be an encouragement to you as you read and ponder profound lessons learned in the midst of the most ordinary of circumstances.

God Bless!


Sabbatical Day 28- Hugging, and the day I Kissed 5 Scottish Women.


A few years ago my family forever changed.  Holly’s brother finally tied the knot with one of the most amazing women I have ever known.  Derek Is a fighter pilot currently flying the F-35, but a few years back he was stationed in England where he met Rebecca.  They took their vows in a cathedral in St. Andrews Scotland.  To say that the trip was magical would be an understatement.  It was a fairytale, and we got a whole new family from the other side of the pond.  After the wedding festivities were over, Holly’s family and I took off in a rental car and began to explore the northern half of Scotland.  I had never been north of Edinburg, so I was excited to see the land of Wallace, of Bruce, and my own family heritage the McFarland’s. 

Before I go any further, a disclaimer of sorts.  I hug people.  I hug everyone.  I encourage people.  I am affectionate.  This is a family trait that is in my DNA.  The Grate family is a touchy feely family.  We cry, we hug, we give.  And then we cry…all the time.  We cry when we are happy.  Sad?  We cry.  When we enter into worship we cry.  When we end a face-time session with my nieces and nephews, we cry.  Touch is a major part of our expression of love not only for each-other, but for, well, anyone we come into contact with.  We are verbally and physically affectionate.  It is not flirtation, or an expression of inappropriate love.  We hug, we kiss, we love.  If you are offended by my families hugginess, please inform us and we will switch to kisses on the cheekJ

Our first stop on our highland tour was the quaint and magical town of Perth.  As we sat down to eat lunch I never even opened the menu.  Fish and Chips for me please!  I finished before everyone else and began to wander the streets of ancient Perth.  About fifteen minutes before we were supposed to leave I began looking for a place to sit near our car so to be ready when the rest of the family arrived for our departure time.  Perth was surprisingly busy on this particular day.  I glanced across the street and saw an opening on a bus stop bench.  Sitting there were 5 adorable Scottish women, with a space directly in the middle of all of them.  I walked across the street and asked if I could sit.  I then said ,”I hear the most beautiful women in Scotland sit on this bench and I’d be honored if I could sit with them”  The oldest of the five (they were all in their 80s except one) laughed heartily, grabbed my arm and pulled me on to the bench. Yikes! For the next 25 minutes we talked.  One of them asked me if I was married.  When I said yes she said in a deep Scottish accent “make space for the single men lad, make space for the single lads”  I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard.  They were all widows, two of which had lost their husbands in WW2.  They had lived in Perth their entire lives and every Saturday they come into town for lunch and bit of shopping.  One asked me about my kids, another asked about my job as they grilled me for every detail.  I responded by wanting to know as much of their story as possible in my short time with these spunky Scottish widows who had not given up on life and were living it to the fullest. 

A few moments later my wife arrived and snapped the pic below.  I introduced her to them and they chatted with my family before the bus arrived.  As they rose to leave each one gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.  I obliged by giving them hugs and kisses as well.  As they were walking to the bus I heard the one in far right of the photo say something to her friend. “That made my day” was the comment and she was a bit choked up as she said it.  Which in turn caused me to choke up because I felt the same way.  They made my day.  Aside from the wedding, it was my favorite moment from the entire trip.





As we were walking away I said to Holly “that made my day”.  She said “I think you made theirs” 

It’s a supernatural thing I guess.  Maybe it’s the reason Paul tells us to greet each other with a spiritual kiss.  I think we need it.  You would be amazed at how many of my bad days turned into good days with a good solid hug and dose of encouragement from my wife, a good friend, a boss, or family member….


Or, on the rare occasion, 5 widows in Perth Scotland…

Sabbatical Day 27- 1968 C-10 Chevy's and the dual nature of contentment


I want one. Its getting bad. Salivation, cold sweats, increased heart rate and a depraved sense of envy always washes over me every time I see one. The 1968 Chevy C-10 Pickup truck is my all time favorite model of any truck ever made. It has to be two toned. Preferably blue and white, Stock wheels, manual transmission with a 350 Engine. I look on craigslist every day. As if it would be possible to buy one. This all began when I bought my current truck. Don't get me wrong, I love my truck. However, now that I have my truck, I want something better, faster, and that screams, "sweet baby Moses look at that truck!" 



The stark reality though is that once I had the C-10 I would want something better, something faster, and something more vintage. I have found that this principle applies to every material thing that we have in life, both physical and emotional. If I could just have a bigger house I would be happy. If I could just lose weight and look like her, I would be happy. If I could get this job, happiness will surely follow. A boyfriend, a girlfriend, a wife, a husband what ever it is, we find ourselves resembling a dog chasing its tail. We are driven by envy and discontentment, and when we finally arrive at the new destination we find that true joy eludes us. What does this reckless pursuit of happiness rooted in envy, discontent, and materialism say about us? More importantly, what does it say about God?
Romans 11:33-36 sheds some light...
33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
34 “Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
35 “Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”
36 For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
Essentially, everything we have is Gods and is given to us from him. Contentment is saying, "what I have is enough". When our life is filled with the pursuits of materialism and envy of things that we think we deserve or the things we don't possess we are not making a statement about ourselves. We are making a statement about God's provision. What God has given me is not enough.
To be clear, having the C-10's in this life are NOT a bad thing. If I have one someday praise be to God! However, verse 36 needs to be our battle cry when we do receive such gifts from God. From Him and through Him, and for Him are all things to Him be the glory forever. Its a slippery slope that I find myself sliding down every single day. That is one side of Contentment.
The other side is the one that I fear may be killing us as followers of Jesus. At some point during the ride on the Jesus train towards glory we decided to get off at the "I have arrived" station. I've done enough, I know enough, I have served enough and I have Jesus in my heart. I am going to heaven. I am perfectly content with being right here. I'm retiring. This is the ugly nature of contentment.
I am amazed at the number of times a week Exodus 33 pops into my head. Its a perfect example of Holy Discontentment. Moses is meeting with God. They are having a conversation. This is the same Moses who saw a sea split in two, pillars of fire by night, a cloud by day, manna from heaven and water spewing forth from a rock. As far a miraculous, glorious, supernatural things go, Moses could write a book:) Then we find him near the end of the Exodus story after experiencing all of these unimaginable workings of God saying "Show Me Your Glory". Are you serious? Haven't you seen enough? Isn't it time for you take a break in your pursuit? Maybe go to the beach? Take a sabbatical;)? Not Moses. He wanted more. Desiring to know the fullness of God on this side of heaven, he kept pursuing the glory of God. It was Holy Discontentment, and its missing from many of our lives.
None of us have arrived. None of us are where we need to be in our pursuit of God. None of us will ever be who we are called to be or reach a place where we will no longer be in desperate need of God every single day. This is what fuels our discontentment.
May we hunger for more.
C-10s are great but i'll be just fine without one.
My chasing after God is a lifelong pursuit,

and the train doesn't stop until HE's done....

Sabbatical Day 26- Soccer game, Name's in Vain and Family Pain


I know what you are thinking. There is no way that I used to be a good athlete. Sometimes I forget that I was as well. I weighed 145 pounds when I graduated from college, could dunk a basketball, and was college soccer player. It wasn't until a horrific car accident that I really got serious about music and ministry. That story is not for today. But it will appear I promise.
I went to Indiana Wesleyan on a soccer scholarship. From the time I was a young child every Saturday morning was game day during the spring, summer and fall. The high school I attended had a reputation for being the worst soccer team...well...maybe ever:) My freshman year I started at striker and found out real fast not only how terrible we were, but how terrible I was. It felt like I was in a pinball machine. That year we recorded a stunning 0-15 record. We did however have many freshman on the team so we were hopeful that next year would be better. It was!!!!! 0-14-1!!! Hurray! (sarcasm) Junior season we broke through and came away with a 6-9 record. We were at least competitive in the games we lost. I began to excel in the sport, my personal stats began to impress, and my senior year we brought home a winning season, 9-6-1 which I believe was the first winning season in the schools history, although I am uncertain about this. I led the league in two statistical categories, goals, and red cards. If I wasn't scoring I was evidently punching and kicking people or arguing with the refs. It was ugly.



The memories of High School soccer came flooding back to me several years ago when I did a study on the 10 Commandments. It was invigorating to study something that you memorized as a kid and find out that many of the commandments meant something entirely different than what you had been taught.
Specifically commandment 3-
Exodus 20:7 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain.
Now it was always explained to me in the most simplest of terms that this commandment was about speech. We had a list. Don't say "Oh My God" or "Jesus Christ" in a way that is disrespecting the nature of God. This is most definitely true. We even had deviations of the name of God that were frowned upon. Here are a few- Gosh, Geeze, Geezy Peezy, Golly Jee and Jeepers. Hey, they were half way there and God knows what you meant so repent ye woeful sinner. As I began to break it down word by word I realized it meant so much more.
The word "Take" in the original Hebrew is the word "Nesa or Nesah". It is an agricultural word. It is used in several places throughout scripture in mundane settings regarding a simple bodily action required to get something from one place to the next. It rarely has anything to do with speech. When a slave, who would often be carrying these items was captured in ancient times, the first thing that would usually happen is the marking or branding of that person so that everyone knew who's slave that was.
When we "take" the name of God as a seal upon our hearts through the transformative act of salvation, we are marked. We are Gods child. Forever. Therefore we "take" the name of God with us where ever we go. Now this has some profound implications. We we take the name, we are now God's representatives on earth. My mind began to wander...
So when we are standing in the express lane at the grocery store with our 5 items and the person in front of us has 19 items because because we COUNTED...TWICE...we don't have the luxury of tearing that person apart for their obvious lack of sympathy for those of us who are actually busy. Why? We are carrying The Name.
When we are in the left lane on a freeway and the person in front of us is going 55 miles an hour, holding up traffic, while texting, we can't drive past and give them "the look".
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Why? We are carrying The Name.
I quickly began to realize that Commandment 3 was not just about speech, but it was about every detail and action of my life. That as an ambassador of Christ, I carry his name with me everywhere. In public, and in private, and we all know the phrase "who you are in private, is who you are". Ouch. I liked the old understanding of commandment 3 better. Can I unlearn this God? I think I'd rather live in ignorance...
My Father, a soft-spoken man who measures his words, and never wastes them was rarely at one of my soccer games. We were poor, and he worked very hard at two jobs so I could have the 160 dollar diadora bazzio soccer cleats. Whenever possible he did come. On this particular night, I wish he hadn't. It was an important game. If we beat this team, we were going to the playoffs for the first time in years. We actually drew a crowd. Which for River Valley Soccer is on par with the parting of the Red Sea. Dad was there, the music was blaring, the adrenaline was flowing and the game began. I scored in the first minute. The crowd went bonkers. My Dad went bonkers, which means he lightly clapped. Then on the very next kickoff one of their defensemen tried to take me out with a high slide tackle to the knee. I managed to avoid it...but not the brawl that followed. Punches were thrown and I was given, as usual, the red card. Not only was I kicked out of the game, but I was kicked out of the stadium. On my way out I made sure to kick over the gatorade cooler and managed to piece together a profanity laced tirade as I exited in shame. My mom just put her hands over her face in embarrassment. My dad just stared at me. It wasn't a mean stare. More confusion than anything. I made my way to my car and drove home. That night at dinner my mom didn't say a word. Dad, the quiet one, had one thing to say. Profound is an understatement as it has stuck with me ever since.
"hey, whats on the back of your Jersey?"
"my number"
"no above that"
"my last name"
"No. Thats MY last name. It was given to you. Its your sisters last, your moms last name and your grandparents last name. Son, when you act like that, its not just a reflection of yourself, it is a reflection of everyone who has our last name"
Tears began to flow down my cheeks and that night something changed in me. I realized that my actions don't simply affect me, but my family as well. I was heartbroken. I had carried my families name in vain.
Every day we wake up and we have a choice to either carry the Fathers name in vain or in a way that reflects the loving nature of the Father who gave us that name when we became his children through His Son Christ Jesus.
Obviously I screw this up every day. Through God's strength I've gotten better....
Unless I am behind a person driving 55 in the left lane while texting....i'm just not there yet...