The title of this post is the obvious reason for my long blogging absence. If my mom is reading this, she's probably a bit confused. I've stated with my typical fervor many times in the past month that I was "DONE BLOGGING!!" So, why the change of heart? Well, the answer is the same to most of my questions recently, "I don't know."
If I'm being 100% honest, though, I do know. This group of friends has become something of a prayer anchor for many of us, me included. Seeing the response from people who just saw the requests from JoEllen and many others has been overwhelming. So, for this reason, and hopefully as time goes by, many other reasons, I will continue to post my thoughts.
To say our life has changed since Jan. 18 would be the grossest of understatements. How does one even begin to understand the implications of what has happened to our family? Simply, you don't. Each hour is taken as a new step, and moving anywhere past the next hour is impossible. Seeing my sister and husband's emotions during this time has been nothing short of heartwrenching. Yesterday Shelly was having a stressful morning and I said,"What can I do to help?" Without taking a breath she answered, "Make everthing like it was before January 18th. Oh, you can't. So...I guess nothing." I don't say this to make any of you think my sister isn't coping...she is- in the most admirable of fashions...but there are some very overwhelming times.
Over the past weeks I've felt confused, angry, beat up, tired, stressed, overwhelmed, happy, thankful, confused (oh...I said that already) and so on. I've found myself negative and cynical and unable to get away from myself. So on Friday on adive from my wise mother, I went out and bought Avalon's recording of hymns. They redid "Total Praise", and song based on Ps. 121. To say this opened my eyes would once again be a gross understatement. At the foundation of life is THIS- "YOUR peace you give me, in time of the storm...". Without the wisdom to look upward to Jesus, I will continue to feel cynical, negative and confused. Please pray that I am able to let Him chip away the hardness of my heart and let Him soften me.
I KNOW that you are continuing to hold up Josh, Shelly, Noah, Zoe and Ephram in your prayers. Please continue to do so through the next days, months and years as life will continue to be complicated and somewhat uncertain. We are daily seeing the power of your prayers and are overwhelmed by the love of SO MANY people!! I've attached a few pictures, since I'm incapable of posting without something visual. The photos are of the kids sledding before Josh's accident; our house during a snow storm after returning from Miami, and Zeke hiding in the fort he made in the living room today. Enjoy!! P.S.- Little man Zeke is FINALLY potty trained!!! (We think.....:-)
