I remember it like it was
yesterday. I have done the math, and I am pretty sure it was October 26th,
1985. I was 10 years old. My sisters and I, as was our Saturday custom had
poured our bowls of sugary cookie crisp and our hearts were filled with the
anticipation of the annual holiday that all children dream about...Halloween.
Oh Halloween. How miraculous you were. People just give you free candy. It's crazy.
On this particular Saturday my
amazing mother was in the kitchen cooking jack-o-lantern sugar cookies for the
upcoming holiday. A new channel had arrived on basic cable. We decided to check
it out. It was the USA channel. The 3 movies that were delicately called
"the gore marathon" was just starting. Friday the 13th part 1, My
Bloody Valentine, and I believe The Exorcist. I'm not completely certain for I
have tried the block it out:). Now to my mothers credit, she had no idea what
we were watching. She was busy cooking. She did however pay for the
aftermath....and it was a nightmare. For the next 6 months I either slept on Andrea Grate Gorenflo 's
floor, Marsha Grate 's floor, or Kelley Grate 's floor. I
was completely terrified. It was the first time in my life I remember feeling
fear. Terrible, heart pounding fear
In retrospect, I think it was my
mortality revelation. The conscious awareness that I was fallible. A
realization that I wasn't a superhero, in spite of what my underwear logo
proclaimed. It was gut wrenching.
I finally got over that fear. I
can watch scary movies and not sleep in another room, but the battle that rages
against fear is as real today as it was then. I just fear different things.
Make no mistake about it, you do too.
The fear of success, fear of
failure, fear of commitment, fear of relationships. The fear of not making enough
money, or having enough food. The fear of letting go of your children when it's
time for them to leave. Fear.
So we decide to build our lives
on the foundation of fear. Over the years, I have tried to define what fear is.
Here is what I have come up with...
Fear is the absolute dependence
on self to determine the future.
Fear, in other words, is the
exact opposite of faith. Fear is the disbelief in the promises of God in
scripture. Fear is tailor made in the factories of evil. It's entire purpose is
to get you to place your trust in yourself, and not in Jehovah God.
Deuteronomy 31:6
6 Be strong and
courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your
God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
John Piper speaking in the
context of the resurrection says this:
"If death is no longer a
fear, we're really free. Free to take any risk under the sun for Christ and for
love."
In other words, an empty tomb on
Easter Sunday morning, was the END of fear. So today, live in the boldness that
the resurrection provides.
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