It was hot. Holly and I were
totally exhausted after leading worship for the week from July 25 2005 - August
1 2005 at the Ohio Family Camp of The Wesleyan Church. To blow off some steam
we stopped at a golf course in Mt Gilead Ohio and played nine holes. After
driving the all well and 3 putting every hole we began our return journey to
Marion Ohio for a short visit. I couldn't wait to get back to Grand Rapids. It
was the biggest day of my life. It was launch day.
Joshua Buck and I met in
1994 in a gymnasium in Marion Indiana. He was just a junior in high school at
the time and I was a freshman in college. We would not talk again for 3 years.
My senior year in college at IWU we became best friends. The best part? He was
seriously dating Holly's sister Shelly Syswerda
Buck and somehow we finagled it. We married sisters, and we became
brothers.
Over the next several years we
began dreaming and planning for the possibility of planting a church in Grand
Rapids Michigan. August 1 2005 was our launch date. It was the day our dreams
were coming true. All the planning, studying, moving and structure had been
completed. We had secured a building, and I was looking forward to August 2nd.
We were going to paint our offices. An earthy brown tone if I remember
correctly. We named the church Greenhouse. We wanted it to be a place for the
inner city where the hipsters, homeless, disenfranchised, and suffering could
find hope and acceptance. We were going to be the ones to put salve on the
wounds of the sufferers. Little did I know that in a few short hours we would
be the ones needing the salve.
When we arrived in Marion Ohio I
went straight to bed. As soon as I was drifting off to sleep, the phone rang.
It my older sister Kelley Grate
and she had news that would forever change the trajectory of our lives. Josh
and Shelly's daughter Ava had been sleeping in her crib when a box fan fell
from the window, landed on her and took her life. I heard Holly scream from the
living room. A scream I never want to hear again. Ava was gone. Gone. If you
have ever had the air knocked out of you, then you know the helplessness you
feel for those few seconds while your body resets. This feeing lasted for
months, and every so often, it comes back and pay a visit.
We rushed from Marion back to
Grand Rapids (5 hr drive) and when we arrived Josh collapsed in my arms. We
cried for a long time. The painting would have to wait. A few days later we
laid our precious Ava in the ground and began the process of navigating grief
that I don't wish on my worst enemies. It's suffocating, painful and confusing.
The divorce rate for family's,
both inside the church and outside the church for couples who lose s child is
85%. Josh and Shelly, by the power of the Holy Spirit overcame. It was amazing
to watch, and heroic to behold. But another storm was brewing on the horizon...
The church took off. God was
moving and people were finding community and hope at Greenhouse. In January of
2007 Josh and Shelly decided to take a trip to Cancun as a symbol of new life.
Shelly was pregnant. Upon arrival they and they're good friends couldn't wait
to get into the ocean. They left the luggage at the desk and went straight to
the beach. Moments later, Josh dove into a wave and it shot him straight to the
bottom. He smashed his head and shattered several vertebrae in his neck. In a
moment, my 6'4 friend who could dunk a basketball was now a quadriplegic for
life.
The divorce rate couples who
experience a tragic quadriplegic event is around 90%. But Josh and Shelly
overcame.
Since that dreadful day in
January, I have watched a couple with 3 kids fight, claw, crawl, and survive.
There is way more to this story. Health issues, a special needs child, bed
sores, migraines, health insurance nightmares, and the list goes on and on and
on. The one thing that is true, is that love, anchored in Christ Jesus, indeed
does conquer all.
For me, just surviving all of
that is a victory. Not for Josh and Shelly. Here is where it gets really
exciting. Instead of giving up, or being satisfied with making it through the
fire, Josh and Shelly have decided to start their own non-profit to help people
who are suffering. The couple who has every right to give up, has decided to
give. The couple who needs to be served, has decided to serve.
It is a ministry called
"Josh and Shelly Family Ministries" and its focus is to interject
themselves in the midst of life's most awful messes to bring hope and purpose
to those who are suffering. They travel, speak, counsel and sacrifice in the
midst of their suffering in order to ease the pain of others. Wow.
This ministry is unique and it
needs to be funded by our prayers and our wallets. If you read this blog and don't
donate, I will hit you on the head with one of those big red whiffle ball bats.
Let's make this Sunday a miracle
Sunday for Josh and Shelly Buck Ministries. Let's give big! Let's give til it
hurts. You can donate here-
A few months after Josh's
accident, Shelly gave birth to the cutest child the world has ever seen. His
name is Ephram. His name means, "out of my suffering, you have brought me
joy"
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